Written by Nahlah Mata Bey

The story of how I went from being a petty bitch to holding myself to Th Highest standards. 

So, lets begin where most woman leave off, I had low self-esteem, low confidence, and an attitude.  I didn't follow the morals and values that were given to me since birth, instead I justified my actions and when all else failed like most women I made myself the victim. 

The journey to self love, appreciation and value started with getting a call..not literally a phone call, but one day I was sitting in my apartment staring at the tree which was in full bloom and admiring nature.  So anyways, I was looking outside and then it occurred to me that none of the bullshit mattered, all the family 'issues' all the emotional garbage I was so called going through, it didn't matter.  I was looking at nature and for the first time in my life I knew TMH's were calling me and I knew I was loved and I felt Amma and I recognized Abba.

It was shortly after that I started taking an interest in my well being as far as health goes, going to the gym, eating better, etc.  Then, go figure, shortly after I was introduced to Da13thsun™ on YouTube.  I listened to him for probably a year, I was getting the message, but not really listening or taking heed to everything he was saying.  I knew he was telling the truth, but that Hannah-tude I mentioned earlier was a huge wall between doing the right thing entirely and picking and choosing what and when I wanted to. 

Now Hannah-tude is a stubborn petty bitch, like for real.  For example I stayed in situations that I KNEW I didn't have any business being in.  If that's not the most petty thing in life, I don't know what is because I had the heart and brain to know better and that good ole intuition TMH's graced me with, but I wasn't trying to listen.  I wanted to learn the hard way, just like someone being petty.  During this time, I continued listening to Da13thsun™ and I seriously mean to tell you that at one point I was so deaf I wondered why he wasn't talking to the Queens all nice and speaking sweet lol I was like why is he so mean to us as if that was going to help smh. As if him showing some tough, but REAL love was worse than mistreating myself.  Yet, I kept listening, let's just chalk it up to I had a great big barrier and every video Da13thsun™ was chipping away at it.  He was speaking to the Queen inside not catering to what the wounded womb wanted to hear. 

After some time I was expecting and life really changed.  At one point, I even reached out to Da13thsun™ because I was acting like the victim again which is the worst role you could ever play in life that's the ultimate petty bitch move...and I'll just say that long before I reached out with a problem he reached out to me with the right info in his videos and I knew better, but didn't do better and once I did reach out, like any good father he took up for his daughter.  Though, more than that, he told me what I needed to do, but I still didn't listen.  Once again another confession of some petty bitch decision making lol. 

After some time and because of my stubbornness I got myself a wake up call or the tough lesson I was waiting for.  My child was born and that was a blissing, but all that ignoring TMHs brought me to a cross road.  I finally took heed.  That was probably one of the most definitive moments of leaving that petty bitch syndrome behind.  I knew the woman I was supposed to be, I knew I was greater than where I was.  One thing I always knew though, was that deep down I would be better, I knew I wouldn't give up and I knew I would rise up.  See, even though I know The Elohim and Big Amma Mama, I knew them inside first before I allowed myself to be tainted of this world and lose sight of that connection with pettiness, but that fire never burned out.  It dimmed at times, but there was always still a flame.  Maybe you can relate. 

Once I made my choice or more like a leap of faith, I really had my heart into growing beyond where I was at.  Though, I was still in the process of letting go of my petty bitch ways.  Those tendencies would creep up and that attitude was still there, but fortunately the exhaustion of being a new mom and on bed rest gave me the chance to be still and listen to Da13thsun™ videos all the time. 

Some time later I had been conversing with our beloved Chief 13Clarity™. Thanks to Da13thsun™, all TMH Elohim and 13Clarity™ they really were the foundation of getting back to my true self.  I never liked drama I never liked to fight my biggest issue was I was afraid to be me and I doubted myself and my abilities. I had gotten so far away from myself and lost sight of my true value.  One day 13Clarity™ had asked me to draw, he said I know you can draw I know your an artist, but here's the thing guys, I had never told him.  I used to love art, I used to draw, but it had been years since I did.  I said okay when he asked me though, but inside I was under pettiness attack, I didn't think I could create art any more I didn't think it was for me and that essentially my gifts had abandoned me.  After a few days he asked me about the art and I was dreading it I didn't know what to say so I made excuses.  I did this for months.  Eventually, we got to the point that I couldn't make up excuses I had to be honest.  I cried and told him the truth I didn't think I could draw, when I try I end up giving into pettiness and low self-esteem. After I let {IT} go and with some honest effort drawing came back and with that so did creativity and confidence.  Getting back to nature was also getting back to what comes natural. 

Then came the real fun and letting my creativity set sail and really overstanding-overcoming the petty ways I had been using as cop outs.  Together we worked on my business First Nation's Sweets™️ this has been such an amazing and rewarding experience on so many levels.  I will say that after listening to Da13thsun™ and 13Clarity™ I had really grown and developed as a woman, mom, but also as a businessman.  The thing is the company you keep and who you listen to really can make you or break you.  I chose to stay to myself and only share with 1 person and that one amazing influence has taken me from making petty bitch decisions time after time to taking responsibility and constantly seeking progress and elevation.  It's like they say you take a step towards TMH and they meet you every step of the way in various ways and forms. 

Working on my business has pushed me to go beyond the doubts I had about myself.  Studying and putting in the work built confidence.  I was creating, I was good and I had a partner that wouldn't fall for bullshit when I said I can't do this or I need help when I was totally capable.  I started to see the root of all my pettiness....and it was self doubt. 

My point, let's get to that.  My point is that after getting real and being incredibly honest with myself was the first step.  The next was not letting pettiness dictate what I do or who I am or who I'm not.  My next point, is that being around pettiness whether it's online or people I know can mess me up so I tune that shit out and don't join in and finally, the one thing that stops the pettiness is getting back to nature, by being my true self, the one the petty bitch was always trying to bring down because like 13Clarity™ broke down recently pettiness is purely of Satan and against TMH's will and the bottom line is it's impossible to be the victim of pettiness its a choice. So for the record I choose to align myself with TMH, and Satan is behind me.

 
 

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